


I wasn't Strong Enough

by Phandom4Life



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Broken, Friendship, Gen, Letter, Love, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Unhappy, note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 12:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7757731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandom4Life/pseuds/Phandom4Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Triggers Suicide Note </p><p>Dan reads a letter that Phil wrote after he committed suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wasn't Strong Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks everyone for reading sorry if it triggers any feelings 
> 
> let me no what you think of the letter.

Dear Dan Bear 

 

The first time we met I was a nervous wreck I never told you that. But than our eyes met and we hugged from that moment I knew  
you were the one I was meant to be with. 

 

My heart did butterfly backflips and it felt so amazing being with you. 

But the best part was when you decided to come and live with me in London. 

I remember the first time we ever kissed it was on the day, you came to the London and we went to the London Eye it was perfect. 

 

I'm telling you this because I'm trying to make you see that you are the best part of my life. 

If I ever had a reason not to hurt myself it would be because you are always there for me. 

 

Me and you together have achieved so much in a short amount of time. I have no doubt that you can carry on and be bigger than you are now. 

We created 2 best selling books together. We even created a stage show that we took around the world. Together we have millions of Phans that love us both a lot. We were great Radio 1 DJS and have a lot of Subscribers. 

But the best part about any of that was that I got to do it all with you. 

 

See Dan life can be great and feel like it's going really well. But it can all be fake and no one sees it like they are all wearing masks. 

People always see me as the happiest person you no sunshine is the word used most often. 

However it's not the case I put on a brave face. It seems to fool everyone even you though that surprises me. 

I can't fight this darkness that seems to be hanging over me growing and growing. 

I love you Dan and I love my family but sometimes even love doesn't take the bad feelings away. 

 

Also people are mean online and it's hard to push aside what they say. 

However you are more popular than me Dan you have more subscribers, more fans. Im not saying this to make you feel bad I really  
like that you are the one in the spot light.  
"Hello Internet ............... my name is .....Dan." (Sorry had to put that in there.) 

In fact if we told young Dan were he be today I bet he wouldn't believe it. 

 

But some people can be asses about it by saying. I only have this many subscribers because I am with you.  
Also that no one really cares what I say because Im boring and don't matter.  
You look ugly ur glasses suck and u have a long nose so on and forth.

I try to push the hurtful words aside but at some point I just can't take it any more. 

I could give up you tube stay off line and avoid it all but that's not who I am. 

People will probably say Im taking the easy way out. Or I'm just doing this for the attention but it's not true. 

 

As pain is pain it doesn't matter if anyone is there see or feel it but Im just done. 

Im done pretending to care that it doesn't hurt me. Im done trying to hide my feelings, Im just done with breathing. 

 

But my one regret the biggest mistake is leaving you all alone. So please don't be mad or angry that Im doing this you have so  
much to live for Dan. 

Maybe Im not leaving you alone.  
Remember my family is ur family and all our internet friends will be there for you. 

Plus the true Phans will always support you no matter. Im sorry I just wasn't strong enough. 

Our relationship meant the world to me. Im sorry that I wasn't able to see it through. 

I want you to be able to move on with someone else who loves you more than I did. 

PS, Don't forget to look after Dil ........he needs you to also Toto.

So Dan when ever you feel lonely, sad, or down turn to our you tube videos as I will be with you forever always in your heart. 

 

I m doing this because I feel like it would be better if I was gone. Maybe the haters out there will think twice before they call people names  
and end someone's life again it has to stop. 

I have to go now Dan I will always be with you watching over you where ever you go. 

I love you so much forever and always Phil


End file.
